Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Inflating his ego

Spring has sprung and things are really looking up - especially for the boyfriend of "Rachel" who blasts me with probably the stupidest question I've ever heard. Brace yourself, Rachel's BF is a real boob. (Ha!)

"I really love my boyfriend and he says he wants to get married. But he won't propose until I get breast implants. He's hoping for a Double D." 

I bet he is.

Bloody hell. I could stuff my shirt with a pair of wool socks and still be a couple cups short of a D. And you can bet your ass I'd drop kick the first guy who asked me to get implants. But hey, that's just me.

You? Well, you're a fool. Your boob job will only help to inflate his already over ripe ego.

I'm willing to bet you've already made up your mind so quoting statistics and waxing poetic about "loving yourself the way you are" is going to go in one ear and out the other. I just hope you're smart enough to ask for an enlargement of your own.

That rock better guide ships home at night.

Yeah, I know, love bites.

- Jagger


  1. My daughter would like a reduction in her size, she is only 4ft 11 ins and has large boobs
    I suppose we ought to be grateful with what we're blessed with.


  2. I agree with you, Jagger. For men, two concepts just don't work together. Family jewels and surgery.